EPISODE 7: Lite Reading

EPISODE 7
Lite Reading

Until my arrival in Seattle, in January 1990, I had never tried an ale. My beer drinking was confined to American mass-market light lagers: Miller, Coors, Olympia and the like. In college I drank nothing but Stroh’s. I came by the taste naturally: My Dad drank nothing but Bud, and my Mom favored Carling Black Label, “Because it is on sale. All the time.” These days, I often don’t even call these beverages “beer.” “Rice soda,” perhaps? But there are still some American lagers I enjoy, like Sam Adams, or the “Session” lager from Bend, Oregon’s Full Sail Brewing Company.

AMERICAN LAGERS

(Originally published in Pin-Up Quarterly, Issue 6, April/June 20122)

A lager, from the German for “lay down”

And down in caves it’s laid, or else at least

It’s stored for fermentation underground

To keep it cold for bottom-dwelling yeast

From this process emerges clear, crisp joy

A flavor like a sparkling mountain stream

Which made this style the choice of hoi polloi

Pushing aside the older styles’ regime

This popularity makes it taboo

For beer snobs: It’s a lamb led to their slaughter

They claim it’s just like sex in a canoe

Which is to say, “It’s fucking close to water”

But when it’s just refreshment that’s the test

A lager just might fill that order best

SESSION LAGER

Now take the Session Lager from Full Sail:

It’s just the kind of thing you think of when

You want a beer that’s lighter than an ale

But just can’t stomach drinking Bud again

The stubby bottle really is a riot

A fossil from pre-Prohibition days

Poured in a glass, the head is foamy white

The beer below a straw-blonde yellow haze

Of  U.S. Pilsners, few compare with Session

All-malt,  with a grassy hop bouquet

The mouthfeel is quite crisp, the taste refreshing

Just perfect for a sunny summer’s day

It’s so much better than mass-market crud

So aren’t you glad you didn’t order Bud?

EPISODE 6: Hoppy Holidays!

EPISODE 6: 

Hoppy Holidays!

The ever-imaginative Pine Box once again held “The Twelve Randalls of Christmas.”Of course I had to attend, and if anything it was more fun than last year’s event. It was just too big for one poem, so here are two:

THE RANDALLS OF CHRISTMAS – A DIPTYCH

1.

On Thursday, then, I set out in the rain

Upon the long walk to the Pine Box bar

No mere downpour could bring me any pain

As I drew near, a Magus to a star

And lo!  Within the courtyard there I faced

A dozen Randall gadgets in a row

In each a new ingredient was placed

Through which a different winter beer would flow

The Randall, a magnificent machine

(Devised by Dogfish Head, or so I’m told)

Creates new tastes that none before have seen

With flavors either delicate or bold

I stand in line to fill my glass with beer

Anticipating splendid Christmas cheer

2.

Within the first device there was a throng

Of brandied cherries, soon to be a part

Of St Bernardus Ale, already strong

But now with something extra, rich and tart

The Bayern Brewing Eisbock was infused

With star anise and just a bit of clove

And also just a few spruce tips were used

Fresh-picked, perhaps, from some Christmas-tree grove

“Abominable,” fresh from Portland’s HUB,

Had toffee caramels sweeten the hops

And “Jolly roger” also joined the club:

Its rum-soaked raisins pulled out all the stops!

Eight other beers were also featured here

A perfect showcase for some unique beer

EPISODE 5: The Bees' Knees

EPISODE 5

The Bees' Knees

On December 5^th the folks from Elevation Brewing, out of Poncha Springs, Colorado, arrived at Seattle’s Pine Box bar bearing gifts. These tasty brews included their “Fan Boy” oak-aged double IPA, and a cask version of their “First Ascent” IPA. But for me the highlight of the presentation was “Apis IV,” a big bad beer made with caramelized honey.

APIS IV

Our friend Apis mellifera is known

To laymen as the common honeybee

This bug’s essential character is shown

By ceaseless honey-making industry

The folks at Elevation worked their jive

With brewers’ tricks both marvelous and supple

To blend the golden treasure of the hive

Into a beer – A Belgian-style Quadruppel!

It pours dark brown and tastes of malted grain

The sugars from the honey take their toll

But hops bring all that sweetness under rein

The booze (and there’s a lot) will warm your soul

The buzz on this beer is that it will please

(And “buzz” is just what one expects from bees!)

EPISODE 4: Dust To Dust

EPISODE 4

Dust To Dust

On December 6^th, the Pine Box bar in Seattle featured the beers of Midnight Sun. This brewery, out of Anchorage, brought in six enormous beers: Three stouts, two barleywines and an imperial porter, all weighing in around the neighborhood of ten percent alcohol. My favorite was their “Termination Dust,” which I will invoke below, continuing my “dust” theme from last post.

Termination Dust

When summer enters in its final weeks

And winter’s howling winds begin to gust

The first snow starts to dot Alaska’s peaks

They call this snowfall “Termination Dust.”

The beer that bears its name is dark and fine

It’s aged in oak; it’s rich and buttery

They call the style a “Belgian Barleywine”

(It tasted sort of like a Quad to me)

As my glass warms new flavors run the course

The taste of Belgian yeast is clear to me

And yet the carbonation comes by force

Just like an English barleywine would be

Thirteen percent! Yes, that’s the alcohol!

This boozy treat might terminate us all!