EPISODE 21: Weihenstephaner Hefeweizen, at the Queen Anne Beerhall

EPISODE 21

Weihenstephaner Hefeweizen, at the Queen Anne Beerhall

 

Weihenstephaner, Prost! We raise a stein

To you, the oldest brewery in the world

To celebrate this wonder of the Rhine

Let their triumphant banners be unfurled!

 

Both Bock and Hefewizen are on tap –

Which one was given to me from the bar?

Just one small sip will bridge the knowledge gap:

O, Phenols! Yes, O Esters! There you are!

 

That proves it; it's the Weissbier sure enough

The clove / banana flavor at the fore

Says this wheat beer is one with The Right Stuff

Like Franziskaner, say; or Hacker-Pschorr

 

(Unless you plan on going on a diet

Queen Anne Beerhall's the perfect place to try it)

EPISODE 20: Counterbalance

EPISODE 20

Counterbalance

So off to Counterbalance I did go

Their cozy taproom showed a lot of class

I sat down, and admired their logo:

A duck that looked just like a tulip glass!

The beer I ordered did not let me down

It was a solid Northwest IPA

Reminding me of hoppy bliss I found

When I first tried that style, back in the day

Falconer's Flight joins with Columbus hops

Alone that might strike one as heaven-sent

But Citra is then added to the top.

The alcohol's a comfy 6%

Its name is Counterbalance so, hey man:

Why isn't it located in Queen Anne?

EPISODE 19: Maritime Pacific "Clipper Gold"

EPISODE 19

Maritime Pacific "Clipper Gold"

 

This is a Hefeweizen, sure enough

Northwestern style, with hops atop the wheat

Without that German cloves/banana stuff

It comes across quite drinkable and sweet

 

The yeast is temperamental, I confess

Too little and it's clear just like a blonde

Too much and it's a dark and cloudy mess

Just right – and there's that gold of which I'm fond!

 

So put a lemon on it (if you must)

And drink up. It is quite well-carbonated

There's hints of pear (though only really just)

But mostly yeast and citrus dominated

 

This is a limited release so run

And try it now before you miss the fun

EPISODE 18: 'Tis a Puzzlement (A poem not about beer!)

EPISODE 18

'Tis a Puzzlement

 

I was talking to a woman; about beer, of course.  "I guess beer is your hobby," she said.

 

"My hobby, my passion," I agreed. "I even write Shakespearean sonnets about beer."

 

"Well, then it is a good thing that you have a hobby that lends itself to poetry," she said. "My hobby is putting together jigsaw puzzles. And let's face it, you couldn't possibly write a sonnet about jigsaw puzzles."

 

To which I replied, "Challenge… Accepted!"

 

Jigsaw

 

A photograph, fragmented into shards

Their sculpted shapes suggesting keys and locks

Is shuffled, like a giant deck of cards

And dumped, without respect, into a box

 

Confronted with this chaos of cardboard

One longs to think of something one can do

So that the primal image is restored

(The picture on the box provides a clue)

 

Painstakingly each piece is now combined

Each notch with corresponding tab is filled

With hours of effort one at last will find

An illustration recognizable

 

Feel pride when taking puzzles from your shelf

For thus we vanquish Entropy itself!

EPISODE 17: Russian Imperial Stout

EPISODE 17

Russian Imperial Stout

(Originally published in Pin-Up Quarterly, Issue 6, April/June 2012)

 

When Catherine the Great was on the throne

And Russia waxed in power like a storm

An ale to cure pneumonia was shown

That had a potency beyond the norm

 

The English brewers shipped it down the line:

As black as pitch, as thick as motor oil

With alcoholic strength to rival wine

A dark elixir fit for any royal

 

The tastes of chocolate and of coffee run

Throughout the palate (roasted malts, of course)

It satisfies all hungers (save for one:

There was that little thing about a horse)

 

So raise a glass to the Czarina's name

'Twas she who brought this style of stout its fame

EPISODE 16: The Dread

EPISODE 16

The Dread

 

The word "Elysian" summons imagery

Of blissful fields beneath a summer sun

This ebon ale dispels that reverie

For with one sip, the nightmare has begun

 

The roar of dark malt rises, and then fades

Don't be afraid, now take a deeper taste

You'll conjure images of ghastly shades

And shoggoths in the southern polar wastes

 

This stout, a grand example of the style,

Unaged would still be beer of great renown

But aged it is, upon an oaken spiral

With water flowing down, forever down

 

So when you find you're paralyzed with fear

Embrace it, with this eldritch, primal beer

EPISODE 15: Hilliard's Murdered-Out Stout

EPISODE 15

Hilliard's Murdered-Out Stout

 

This hot rod doesn't need a nitro kit

To go from zip to thirty IBUs

Its pint glass blacked-out by the tint of it

A vehicle to chase away the blues

 

The roasted malt, light-chocolaty and dry

Is balanced by some hoppy bitterness

With alcohol at five percent, you'll try

To drink it all day long, and be my guest!

 

This cast-iron entry in the dark-beer race

Is elegant in its simplicity

From rich, smooth mouthfeel to light tan head-lace

It's just the thing an Irish stout should be

 

If beer on tap is not your thing, well man

Just wait 'till Fall and get it in a can!

EPISODE 14: Porter

EPISODE 14

Porter

(Originally published in Pin-Up Quarterly Issue 6, April/June 2012

 

The contrast with the other beer is stark

No more anemic shades of pallid straw

This brew's complexion is as rich and dark

As polished wood, deep brown without a flaw

 

In Belgian beer the taste of yeast holds sway

And in pale ale the tang of hops is prized

In porter it's the malt that has its day

As sugar, when it's cooked, is caramelized

 

The roasting brings out tastes of tootsie rolls.

And toffee, even hints of licorice

The porter gained its name from the poor souls

Who drank it, lugging burdens for the rich

 

So hoist a pint of porter! In the end,

It is the working-person's truest friend

EPISODE 13: Sweet Wheat!

EPISODE 13

Sweet Wheat!

 

Hefeweizen

(Originally published in Pin-Up Quarterly, Issue 6, April/June 2012)

 

Forget the sparkling clarity you see

In ordinary lager from a can

The hefeweizen is a mystery

Produced by adding wheat amidst the bran

 

A wheat beer is a funny sort of beast

One of the lightest, and yet so opaque

Because it's left unfiltered so the yeast

No hangs suspended, like a liquid cake

 

The simple wheaten flavor is a slate

Upon which one can paint tastes to amaze

Like apricot, or orange from a crate

Or blueberry (to make a purple haze)

 

From Germany up to the Northwest coast

This style excels when sweetness matters most

 

 

Backwoods Brewing "Blueberry Wheat"

 

I really did expect to see a purple hue

Instead it was an amber-yellow haze

But in the nose, the blueberries came through

The strong aroma put me in a daze

 

I took a taste, and let it soothe my throat

The blueberries still strongly in the mix

But calmed by maltiness and biscuit notes

So, all in all, the combination clicks

 

It's called the Goldilocks of fruity beer

Not bitter, not too sweet, but just fine

It hails from Carson, a town south of here,

Home to evergreens like spruce and pine

 

I'd like it any time, but I must say

It's well-nigh perfect for a summer day

EPISODE 12: Ninkasi "Ground Control" Imperial Stout

EPISODE 12

Ninkasi "Ground Control" Imperial Stout

 

This beer flew into space, and home again

(Its yeast, at least – I think that qualifies!)

It pours quite worthy of this origin,

With color black as airless, sunless skies

 

The scent of hazelnuts comes to the fore

(As "Doctor Hazelnut," I quite approve!)

The flavor features hazelnuts once more,

With cocoa and star anise on the move

 

The rich, sweet maltiness grinds to a stop

As hoppy bitterness climbs to a peak

Apollo, Bravo, also Comet hops –

A very cosmic trio, so to speak

 

They named it "Ground Control"; for what it's worth

I'm calling it "The Beer that Fell to Earth"!

EPISODE 11: Ghostfish

EPISODE 11

Ghostfish

An eerie, lambent, phosphorescent glow

Erupts upon the surface of the sea

A mammoth shape arises from below

An orca? No, a brand-new brewery!

Within its welcoming and friendly space

Are beers that are completely gluten-free

I feel some trepidation as I taste

For such have often disappointed me

But one sip of their session IPAs

Decisively obliterates my fear

It may have millet in the barley's place

But it just tastes like genuine good beer!

I hope this verse your interest will pique

Reel in the Ghostfish and it is quite unique!

EPISODE 10: Sour Summit

EPISODE 10

Sour Summit

Last Mother's Day I stepped outside my door

To Downtown Spirits I then quickly raced

To drink sour beers, a style that I admire

(Though I admit it's an acquired taste)

Brettanomyces gives these ales their funk

Lactobacillus makes them acid-tart

Though some dismiss these brewing styles as junk

To others they're the apex of the art

They led with Petrus, just to set the tone

Then Ichtegems, a Flemish Grand Cru blend

And next a Lambic gueuze from Cantillon

With Almanac's sour porter at the end

If you'd like something wilder in your cup

Try one of these! (Prepare to pucker up)

EPISODE 9: Tripel Threat

EPISODE 9

Tripel Threat

When people ask me what kinds of beer I like, I usually reply that I tend to gravitate towards IPAs and Belgian-style triples.  Since I've already written about IPAs here, it's time for some triples. I personally believe that the exemplar of the species is Brouwerij Bosteels' Tripel Karmeliet, with the tripel from the Brasserie de l'Abbaye du Val-Dieu a close second. But nowadays you don't have to be Belgian to brew a tripel. My favorite local example is "Monk's Uncle," from Pike Brewing here in Seattle. Sound Brewing in Poulsbo, WA has a solid entry in their "Tripel Entendre," and Ninkasi in Eugene, OR pleasantly surprised me with their fine take on the style. Perhaps the best Belgian-style tripel not made in Belgium is "La Fin du Monde," from Unibroue in Chambly, Quebec. It is a beer I deem sonnet-worthy.

THE BELGIAN TRIPEL

(Originally published in Pin-Up Quarterly, Issue 6, April/June 2012)

No pint glass is appropriate to serve

As vessel for a treasure such as this

Instead a tulip goblet is preferred

With curves as lush as those of any miss

The nectar it contains, a heady brew

An ale fit for the Pope, its brewers sought

The proof of their achievement is the hue

As golden as the gifts the Magi brought

A chimp might crave its slight banana flavor

Created through the alchemy of yeasts

A hint of bubble-gum, more tastes to savor

The handiwork of those zymurgic priests

And with a final note of clove it's told

A tale of monks who chose love over gold

LA FIN DU MONDE

They call it "Fin du Monde," and true enough

You'd have to reach the world's end just to find

Another ale that's equal to this stuff

With flavor far beyond the daily grind

Yes, it's from Canada but it's as fine

As any tripel Belgian monks could forge

You'll want to sip it, like expensive wine

As, one by one, fresh qualities emerge

It started with a bready yeasty nose

And then phenols and esters came along

So that banana flavor then arose

And triple fermentation made it strong!

So when the world at last comes to its end

I'll spend my last hours drinking, with a friend

MONK'S UNCLE

I really have to hand it to The Pike:

Of all the local claims to Belgium's crown

This entry is the one I really like

Complex in taste yet easy to drink down

It's hoppier than one would think to find

From this specific style of Belgian beer

But let the upfront bitterness unwind

Its other elements become more clear

A tangy fruity backbone sets the stage

A hint of pineapple (banana, too)

But is that coriander? Is that sage?

And last, the clove notes venture into view

All aspects meld together in the end:

A perfect drink for any simian

EPISODE 8: Saison?

EPISODE 8

Saison?

There is no definition of “Saison”

No really good one that I’ve heard, at least

Just ask, and you’ll be given a vague one

Like, “mumble mumble mumble Belgian yeast”

“But what about the French saisons?” I cry

“OK, them too, they’re part of the whole scene

Still, they’re all farmhouse ales, you can’t deny.”

Yet what does “farmhouse ale” even mean?

The alcohol is low, that much we know

For farmhands to gulp down when labor’s spent

Then what about Dupont’s “Avec bons Voeux,”

With alcohol at whopping nine percent?

But if you think defining saison’s hard

Try coming up with one for “Biere de Garde!”