EPISODE 20: Counterbalance

EPISODE 20

Counterbalance

So off to Counterbalance I did go

Their cozy taproom showed a lot of class

I sat down, and admired their logo:

A duck that looked just like a tulip glass!

The beer I ordered did not let me down

It was a solid Northwest IPA

Reminding me of hoppy bliss I found

When I first tried that style, back in the day

Falconer's Flight joins with Columbus hops

Alone that might strike one as heaven-sent

But Citra is then added to the top.

The alcohol's a comfy 6%

Its name is Counterbalance so, hey man:

Why isn't it located in Queen Anne?

EPISODE 19: Maritime Pacific "Clipper Gold"

EPISODE 19

Maritime Pacific "Clipper Gold"

 

This is a Hefeweizen, sure enough

Northwestern style, with hops atop the wheat

Without that German cloves/banana stuff

It comes across quite drinkable and sweet

 

The yeast is temperamental, I confess

Too little and it's clear just like a blonde

Too much and it's a dark and cloudy mess

Just right – and there's that gold of which I'm fond!

 

So put a lemon on it (if you must)

And drink up. It is quite well-carbonated

There's hints of pear (though only really just)

But mostly yeast and citrus dominated

 

This is a limited release so run

And try it now before you miss the fun

EPISODE 18: 'Tis a Puzzlement (A poem not about beer!)

EPISODE 18

'Tis a Puzzlement

 

I was talking to a woman; about beer, of course.  "I guess beer is your hobby," she said.

 

"My hobby, my passion," I agreed. "I even write Shakespearean sonnets about beer."

 

"Well, then it is a good thing that you have a hobby that lends itself to poetry," she said. "My hobby is putting together jigsaw puzzles. And let's face it, you couldn't possibly write a sonnet about jigsaw puzzles."

 

To which I replied, "Challenge… Accepted!"

 

Jigsaw

 

A photograph, fragmented into shards

Their sculpted shapes suggesting keys and locks

Is shuffled, like a giant deck of cards

And dumped, without respect, into a box

 

Confronted with this chaos of cardboard

One longs to think of something one can do

So that the primal image is restored

(The picture on the box provides a clue)

 

Painstakingly each piece is now combined

Each notch with corresponding tab is filled

With hours of effort one at last will find

An illustration recognizable

 

Feel pride when taking puzzles from your shelf

For thus we vanquish Entropy itself!

EPISODE 17: Russian Imperial Stout

EPISODE 17

Russian Imperial Stout

(Originally published in Pin-Up Quarterly, Issue 6, April/June 2012)

 

When Catherine the Great was on the throne

And Russia waxed in power like a storm

An ale to cure pneumonia was shown

That had a potency beyond the norm

 

The English brewers shipped it down the line:

As black as pitch, as thick as motor oil

With alcoholic strength to rival wine

A dark elixir fit for any royal

 

The tastes of chocolate and of coffee run

Throughout the palate (roasted malts, of course)

It satisfies all hungers (save for one:

There was that little thing about a horse)

 

So raise a glass to the Czarina's name

'Twas she who brought this style of stout its fame

EPISODE 16: The Dread

EPISODE 16

The Dread

 

The word "Elysian" summons imagery

Of blissful fields beneath a summer sun

This ebon ale dispels that reverie

For with one sip, the nightmare has begun

 

The roar of dark malt rises, and then fades

Don't be afraid, now take a deeper taste

You'll conjure images of ghastly shades

And shoggoths in the southern polar wastes

 

This stout, a grand example of the style,

Unaged would still be beer of great renown

But aged it is, upon an oaken spiral

With water flowing down, forever down

 

So when you find you're paralyzed with fear

Embrace it, with this eldritch, primal beer

EPISODE 15: Hilliard's Murdered-Out Stout

EPISODE 15

Hilliard's Murdered-Out Stout

 

This hot rod doesn't need a nitro kit

To go from zip to thirty IBUs

Its pint glass blacked-out by the tint of it

A vehicle to chase away the blues

 

The roasted malt, light-chocolaty and dry

Is balanced by some hoppy bitterness

With alcohol at five percent, you'll try

To drink it all day long, and be my guest!

 

This cast-iron entry in the dark-beer race

Is elegant in its simplicity

From rich, smooth mouthfeel to light tan head-lace

It's just the thing an Irish stout should be

 

If beer on tap is not your thing, well man

Just wait 'till Fall and get it in a can!

EPISODE 14: Porter

EPISODE 14

Porter

(Originally published in Pin-Up Quarterly Issue 6, April/June 2012

 

The contrast with the other beer is stark

No more anemic shades of pallid straw

This brew's complexion is as rich and dark

As polished wood, deep brown without a flaw

 

In Belgian beer the taste of yeast holds sway

And in pale ale the tang of hops is prized

In porter it's the malt that has its day

As sugar, when it's cooked, is caramelized

 

The roasting brings out tastes of tootsie rolls.

And toffee, even hints of licorice

The porter gained its name from the poor souls

Who drank it, lugging burdens for the rich

 

So hoist a pint of porter! In the end,

It is the working-person's truest friend